Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dear Diary,
I am tired of this superficial world. Why can't people, myself included, be authentic all the time? Why do we fight feelings so hard and push people away? Why do we present this fictitious persona? Is it out of fear that if the "real me" were exposed people wouldn't like me less?

Is it that hard to say what you mean, mean what you say and just be honest. Even when honesty hurts? I've had quite the weekend as my nearest (and I don't mean in distance) and dearest are aware, and its woken me up to a few things.

1) People make decisions we cannot control, and even if they hurt us, we have to accept them and not deny them that growth. EVEN if we think it's the wrong choice.

2) Letting yourself feel love isn't a bad thing.

3) We build walls around us, sometimes we don't even realize it. And they are purposeful. The walls are there to keep the bullshit out, but those who truly care will find away thru the wall. When someone tears down a wall, look at why you put that wall up and maybe just maybe the wall doesn't need to be rebuilt

4) Being grounded is healthy and good, and if you plant your roots deep enough, even if you stray, you can come back to them and they will still be there

5) As much as I want to lose faith in people, and as easy as it would be to give up, I have to put one foot in front of the other, continue the journey and have hope that next time the outcome will be different.

It's time to not pretend that the world is sunshine and roses all day everyday, but instead, live and feel and breath. Crying makes me human, not weak. And laughing is soap for my soul. So cry more, laugh and truly live each and every day!

Sincerely,

Me