Accountability of an asshole

We can be held accountable for our actions, and only our actions. Sometimes I want to show people the lesson and deny them the ability to have the experience that will eventually lead to the lesson.

People take advantage of kindness, and they mistake it for a weakness. My love recently got taken advantage of, in a monetary kinda way.

The amount of money is irrelevant, we all have our price, pick an amount that would infuriate you if your employer decided not to pay you it.

She was kind, she understood their financial hardship, and she allowed them to make payments, and the amount grew, because guess what happened the following week… SAME THING.

After a month of this, she walks away from a job that has been a financial blessing to us, and she walks away with an IOU that they have no intention of fulfilling.

The options

1)   Sue them

2)   Walk away, and hope they execute the IOU.

What do you choose and why?

(play jeopardy music in your head, and you will sound like me)

What did we do – we negotiated, I wanted door number 1, and C wanted door 2.

Before you gasp, remember the amount is irrelevant and look at the logic.

We all answer to someone higher than us, some might think its Karma, some heaven or hell – doesn’t matter same logic.

We reasoned with the child, and believe me when I say child, and this kid had the audacity to be angry at me for reading him state statutes that told him what he was doing was illegal, and offered no excuse for his behavior. Felt righteous in doing so, and mind you, this kid pretends to live by the 12-step program. One that encourages us to always do the next right thing, and hold our actions to a higher standard.

You can’t reason with someone that says one thing and does another – its like teaching a dog to walk on two legs, or a cat to bark – a waste of effort.

It was not easy to take door 2, and the accountant, mathy person in me wants door 1 so badly. The law is every ounce on our side and I could take this child for all of his hopes and dreams.

Or I could let the higher power dole out the punishment. Door 2 it is.

I gave the child the opportunity to do the next right thing, to pay the wages owed and make a bad decision right, and he choose to make what I believe is the wrong decision.

There is my opinion- I believe. It’s not for me to believe, he thinks in his mind he is doing the right thing, and looking out for number one, as he says, but what he forgets is tht number one is never yourself. It is someone else.

I wish him luck in his adventure through this life, and I can only hope that when the higher power makes the situation right I am around to be witness.

The saying karma is a bitch only if you are is true, and for that I can say I held him accountable, I didn’t belittle him, I was confident in my words and when I lay my head down tonight, I know I made the right choice.

Changin it up

I want to make a commitment to doing something that matters in this world.

I’ve done the volunteer in my community thing, and I love how that feels, but I want to expand on that.

I read an article, on accident yesterday by the Owner of Zappo’s, it was about his plan to reinvent Las Vegas – This inspired me. This man, is committing his hard earned money to truly make a change. We all love visiting Las Vegas, but this guy moved his headquarters there, therefore his staff there, and therefore put the wheel in motion to make a difference in this community. Those people will pay taxes, spend money and start reestablishing a community that has fallen prey to the economy.

Now, I don’t have $400 million to reinvent a community, but I can make better choices with what I do have.

How can I make an impact? By supporting companies that support making a difference, by donating excess funds that I have to outreach programs, and by increasing my awareness.

A few years ago Toms were huge (they are footwear) and they still are, but the hype has gone away. Toms donates one pair of shoes for every pair purchased to a community in need. I was looking for a new pair of shoes (what girl doesn’t shop for shoes on her lunch) and I thought, do I really need another pair of chucks? And most of me said yes, the other part of me said – TRY THE TOMS. Make a difference.

So I have ordered TOM’s.

And I have started researching what the companies I shop at stand for.

I recently learned that Starbucks is putting their name behind, in support of, gay marriage and equal rights, and they are already fair trade. So they continue to have the green light for me.

Walmart and Target – though I despise Walmart, and Target isn’t much better – they are very budget friendly, my goal with these two companies is to find products within them that help me feel better about where my funds go.

The list goes on- I think that this year my support of the big box will be reduced greatly in favor of the mom and pop shops that at one point were the bread and butter of this great country. Small business Saturday was last month and to be honest – it should be all the time. You and I both know in our heart of hearts that it’s those stores that got us to where we are, and it’s companies like Zappo’s and Tom’s and so many others that want to do good with the profits they make that will make this country truly shine once again.

What can you do to make a difference? Every small change add’s up and creates a ripple affect, so never discount the little things that you do. 

where the hell have I been??

Two months??

Where have I been.. Ugh jeez I don’t think any f you really want the answer to that. But I am back, and I am looking for inspiration. Mainly due to the hustle and bustle that has been my life lately.

Let’s see, quick recap.

1.  I got engaged to my lovely girlfriend.
2.  I had an amazing time on the breast cancer walk, and am soo excited to participate next year in San Diego
3.  Holiday season was great
4.  The nuthouse – UGH chaotic and, well a nut house, every day a new adventure, that’s for sure.

Ummm, lets see what else can I tell you about… not much. SO how about some details.

The wedding – its going to happen in march, the engagement happened kinda like this.. It’s a funny story really, I swear. We are sitting on the couch in our respective spots, and you know what I mean, we all have our corner that we go to and it’s just kinda our spot. She comes over, and she gets in my spot and she’s acting all needy. So I say can I help you, she takes the remote, mutes the TV and I ‘m like really??? She takes the ring box out and hands it to me and basically says, so you’re gonna marry me, right? I almost died laughing. Said yes of course, and then 5 minutes later am drinking a mimosa and planning a wedding.

The breast cancer walk- I do not know what I was thinking when I decided I would deviate from everything I know not to do and didn’t train for. I start off the morning of the walk and put glide on my feet (wild hair up my ass I guess, because I have never done it before in my life) 5 hours later and I have blisters the size of a small country on my feet. Blisters that took MONTHS to go away. The walk, as always was an inspiration, and a beautiful moment. I loved spending the time with C’s sister and getting to know her more, and I loved the stories and the experience of the 3 Day. I am blessed and grateful for everyone who helped with my walk, to get my fundraising there, to support me, and to pray for the journey.

Holidays- the usual, dinner, presents, and family. I am sure not much different than at our house.

  Obviously I didn't download them... Or I did and lost them, let's go with door number 1 for sanity's sake though.

The nuthouse – truly its an adventure. Somedays I hate it and someday’s I love it. I have to remind myself that I paid $50,000 to do this and I better like it J It’s been a hectic month at work, as expected it would be, Holiday season is winding down, orders are slowing, and the USDA pistachio contract we were awarded is almost over. Temper’s are high, and the stupid, stupid girl I work with is making it hard to not want to stab her in the eye. This week I think I had a melt down. Ok, I don’t think, I know. But I think I am on the upward swing. (More on that tomorrow).

So that’s the update. That’s where I have been, well I have been a lot of other places, this is just the trailer.

Hope life is blessed and beautiful in your world.

Xoxo

nic

Can Fear and Faith Exist at the Same time?

Saturday at coffee with my love and our friend, we got on the topic of how fear impacts our every other action.
We do things, or don't do them, based on fears. Fears can be rational or irrational. They can be based on situations we create in our head or they can be based on our fear of judgement, the possibility of rejection or failure.
Sometimes our fears can push us to the edge and propel us to do something, and sometimes our fears can keep us bottled inside afraid.
I know what its like to live life in fear, to be afraid of what people might think, and to be afraid of will I like myself tomorrow if I do this. There are times where I am not afraid, and there are times when I am so scared I can't breathe.

So back to the point- can fear and faith exist at the same point.... The idea is that faith pushes out fear, because if you have faith then whatever happens the result will be ok, so our faith makes us fearless, but sometimes I think because of our fear we have faith. One of the people in the conversation said that you can have fear and faith at the exact same time... and I am not sure I agree, I think that you have to take your fear hat off and put your faith hat on when you make a decision to do something.

Take a fear of roller coasters, you are scared that the bolts will come undone and as you are about to take that last swirling twirling corkscrew the track will come apart and the car you are sitting in will fly straight through the air and you will be seat belted in with no escape.
You finally convince yourself that you want to conquer your fear and go for it... you are scared, but there comes a point where you decide, you can do this and that it will be okay and the bolts will not come loose. That moment, you transition from fear to faith. And therefore you are no longer in fear, you are in faith.
Making that transition you have to have courage. Sometimes you hold the fear hat, close to your chest, just incase you need to put it back on, but you take it off, and you wear the faith hat. You wear the faith hat, and you hope that the faith hat will cover you, will have enough armor to protect you, from the roller coaster, from judgement, or whatever else happens that brings you to your fears. Sometimes that faith hat is and sometimes it isn't.
Sometimes the faith hat is to small, and we get stuck in our fears, and we feel safe with our fear hat on, we shield ourselves behind it. Our faith gets shaken and we struggle to conquer the fear a little more the next time.
If you have faith you can't have fear at the same time, you can be have one or the other, but you cannot wear two hats at one time. Your fear will lead you to your faith, and your faith will lead you back to your fear. Its a cycle, sometimes we get stuck in our fear, and we forget that having faith our fear will diminish.

Lately, I have lived more in fear than in faith. I have allowed fear to rule the decisions that I have made. Today I have decided to take my fear hat off, and I'm going to hold it close to my chest, incase I need to cower behind it again, but for now, I am going to be courageous and put my faith hat on my pretty head and put one shaky foot forward and travel the path. Today I live for me.