Tuesday, September 21, 2010

missing

Going thru your memories today brought how much I miss you in my daily life to the fore front. So many days I can feel the loss of you and push it aside. But today picking things up, picking up your memories, things you've collected all your life, and not knowing any of the stories behind them made me want you back. I felt such sadness tossing something aside because it meant nothing to me but something to you. Oh how I wish you were here to share your stories and tell me why you kept some of the newspapers or restaurant menus, where you were going with all of those plane tickets and why of everything found there was only a few things of yours and moms marriage, or any of them really. 
I want to curl up in your lap and have you brush my hair and read to me. And I wanna know why grades were so important to you, I saw your report card ;) I wanna know if you ever felt regret, you had a clear obsession with space and aerodynamic things, yet I wonder if you set that aside in effort to be practical and provide for your family. I wanna know who Angela is too. 
Some of the things you kept make no sense to me...
and some of them are amazing treasures, the 10 dollar bill from the Confederate United States and the ration cards from the great depression an the 1985 Spiderman comic book, the receipt from our trip to SeaWorld and when you took me fishing and we saw the mountain lion under the rock. I miss you everyday, but today I miss you with the fondest of memories and these paper things just reinforce the memories and legacy you've blessed me with.



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