Friday, November 13, 2015

Nov 13. The day my life took a new direction, and this year, i continue to thrive. I heal more and more every year, but this year does feel differnet. Ive been a lot of art therapy classes and started this women's group,  that required us to read this book,  the red tent, forgive me,i only remember the authors first name (Anita). This book is one of those books you could read over and over and everytime take away something different. Its really simple, its a daughter and her relationship with her mothers and those who act like mothers to us. The group has had is do a lot of reflection on our own story with our mother, and instead of being sad that the "assignments" are more difficult because i cant just call my mommy, i feel peace that even though i dont know all of her story, i feel like i know a lot of it and i feel content and appreciative tears, not sad tears.
I dont think people appreciate the pool of knowledge that our parents are to us, and we are who we are because of them. Be that good or bad, they have shaped us and we've either decided to be nothing like them, or aspire to be them. But nonetheless, because of them, we are who we are.

This November 13, i found have personal growth and more peace. I am so immensely grateful to both of my parents for the lessons they have taught me. For shaping who i am, even if its taken me a long time to learn, and to appreciate them. That it took their deaths for me to realize how truly amaizng they both were.

The sacrifices they both made, the blood sweat and tears they shed on my behalf, the times they set boundaries, that i didnt understand or like, are so clear to me now, and all i have is this heavy sense of gratitude and appreciation for them. I miss them, but I'm also so aware,  their passing pushed me to be who i am today.

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