Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Freezing!?!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
My ramblings
I hear the battle in your voice and I saw the pain in your face. Matters of the heart are so hard, especially when your brain enters the discussion. When we find the two aren't aligned we struggle, even more to find validation that we are doing the right thing. We make a choice and we hope for the best. We try to not have regrets. We try to not let the future be tainted with the past, but everyday its a battle. If the end goal is to be happy, to let our light shine thru our soul and out into the world we have to make decisions accordingly.
You said be happy nicki, you helped define that happiness for me. You showed me what I'm capable of, and reminded me the world is mine to conquer. My preference would be to keep you by my side, so we can conquer it together, because even though my life appears to be so neatly put together, like a lot of the old me, its a fictitious front presented to those who don't matter. Underneath the bow is chaos and clutter. A work in progress, and as I learn to be truly authentic my world will fall into place.
Now What
Your heart was broken
where do you go from here
do you wall back up and pretend you never felt this way
how do you deny feeling so alive
how do you forget the flutter in your stomach everytime she called
how do you face each day knowing you weren't the one
you cant regret and you cant look back to wonder what if
the plan is greater then you
but where do you go from here
it starts by putting your left foot in front of your right foot
set down the brick and mortar, you no longer need that wall
the wall gave you comfort and provided shelter for your heart
but building it again would undo her magic
learn the lesson
feel the pain
and know it was worth it
she'll be back, the world will right itself again
but until that day
left foot... right foot
****
to not have had this chance
i never would have learned
the depth of my ability
you brought elements to my life
i've only read about in books
you brought out a smile i had long forgotten
and you reminded me butterflys, like santa, do exist
the stars will shine again
and the world will once again sipn
but this time i will feel
i will appreciate the gift of love you have given
You said be happy nicki, you helped define that happiness for me. You showed me what I'm capable of, and reminded me the world is mine to conquer. My preference would be to keep you by my side, so we can conquer it together, because even though my life appears to be so neatly put together, like a lot of the old me, its a fictitious front presented to those who don't matter. Underneath the bow is chaos and clutter. A work in progress, and as I learn to be truly authentic my world will fall into place.
Now What
Your heart was broken
where do you go from here
do you wall back up and pretend you never felt this way
how do you deny feeling so alive
how do you forget the flutter in your stomach everytime she called
how do you face each day knowing you weren't the one
you cant regret and you cant look back to wonder what if
the plan is greater then you
but where do you go from here
it starts by putting your left foot in front of your right foot
set down the brick and mortar, you no longer need that wall
the wall gave you comfort and provided shelter for your heart
but building it again would undo her magic
learn the lesson
feel the pain
and know it was worth it
she'll be back, the world will right itself again
but until that day
left foot... right foot
****
to not have had this chance
i never would have learned
the depth of my ability
you brought elements to my life
i've only read about in books
you brought out a smile i had long forgotten
and you reminded me butterflys, like santa, do exist
the stars will shine again
and the world will once again sipn
but this time i will feel
i will appreciate the gift of love you have given
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Paint play
I've had this project in my head since moving and finally the stars aligned and it. Is. Done.
Take a look at my dry erase boards tiled with some fun paintings I did
until next time
xo
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dear Diary,
I am tired of this superficial world. Why can't people, myself included, be authentic all the time? Why do we fight feelings so hard and push people away? Why do we present this fictitious persona? Is it out of fear that if the "real me" were exposed people wouldn't like me less?
Is it that hard to say what you mean, mean what you say and just be honest. Even when honesty hurts? I've had quite the weekend as my nearest (and I don't mean in distance) and dearest are aware, and its woken me up to a few things.
1) People make decisions we cannot control, and even if they hurt us, we have to accept them and not deny them that growth. EVEN if we think it's the wrong choice.
2) Letting yourself feel love isn't a bad thing.
3) We build walls around us, sometimes we don't even realize it. And they are purposeful. The walls are there to keep the bullshit out, but those who truly care will find away thru the wall. When someone tears down a wall, look at why you put that wall up and maybe just maybe the wall doesn't need to be rebuilt
Dear Diary,
I am tired of this superficial world. Why can't people, myself included, be authentic all the time? Why do we fight feelings so hard and push people away? Why do we present this fictitious persona? Is it out of fear that if the "real me" were exposed people wouldn't like me less?
Is it that hard to say what you mean, mean what you say and just be honest. Even when honesty hurts? I've had quite the weekend as my nearest (and I don't mean in distance) and dearest are aware, and its woken me up to a few things.
1) People make decisions we cannot control, and even if they hurt us, we have to accept them and not deny them that growth. EVEN if we think it's the wrong choice.
2) Letting yourself feel love isn't a bad thing.
3) We build walls around us, sometimes we don't even realize it. And they are purposeful. The walls are there to keep the bullshit out, but those who truly care will find away thru the wall. When someone tears down a wall, look at why you put that wall up and maybe just maybe the wall doesn't need to be rebuilt4) Being grounded is healthy and good, and if you plant your roots deep enough, even if you stray, you can come back to them and they will still be there
5) As much as I want to lose faith in people, and as easy as it would be to give up, I have to put one foot in front of the other, continue the journey and have hope that next time the outcome will be different.
It's time to not pretend that the world is sunshine and roses all day everyday, but instead, live and feel and breath. Crying makes me human, not weak. And laughing is soap for my soul. So cry more, laugh and truly live each and every day!
Sincerely,
Me
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